Sunday, June 11, 2017

What R.E.A.L. Influence Looks Like

Like it or not, if you work with other people, or are in any kind of a relationship, you are an influencer. You may be a positive or a negative influencer, but no breathing human being is without influence. So why not be a positive influencer? 

Here are the 4 skills most critical to being an effective and positive influencer.


You have been around that rare breed of person that others refer to as a people magnet. They can be introverts or extroverts. What they have in common is that they add value to those around them. I know people like this. If they are people skilled at being empathetic, hanging around them makes me more empathetic. If they have the gift of encouragement, some of that rubs off on me and I become more encouraging to others. Influencers know that it is only through relationships – investing time in people who know you genuinely care about and value them as a person and not just for what you might get back from them – that any positive influence you have will also be lasting influence. This leads to the second skill.


Once you enter into a relationship, build trust with that person and begin to see yourself rubbing off on them, you have begun to exhibit the second key skill of an influencer. Empowering. Having seen the value of a character trait, skill, attitude or ability in you, the other person feels empowered to exhibit that same trait, skill attitude or ability themselves. Wise influencers will recognize this, and through encouragement begin to direct those under their leadership, management or supervision to continue in positive growth. Influencers give others opportunity and space to use their gifts and talents. They provide feedback, coaching and counsel so that those being empowered will be successful. But influencers also do this so those being empowered will grow in their own influence, and then will be able to do the same for others someday.


Most people who leave a job or fail to advance in one do so not because of a lack of ability, knowledge or skill. They stay stuck or go backward because of attitude. Influencers know this and lead by having the kind of attitude that is unshakable. Influencers know their life’s mission or purpose. Their values have been forged and tested by fire. They know that what happens around them is nothing compared to what happens inside them. You cannot deflate, demean, diminish or derail them. It’s not stubbornness that makes it so, It is confidence, clarity of vision, commitment to certain values, and in most cases a healthy dose of joy (there is nothing stronger than true joy) that gives key influencers the ability to stay positive, hopeful and optimistic in the middle of any storm, even with their eyes wide open.


Influencers recognize all the ways they have the ability to influence others through their attitude, their ability to empower and build strong, solid relationships. And they put all of this together under the banner of leadership. A leader does not have all the answers nor the ability to determine the paths of others. A leader does two primary things. A leader goes first and invites, challenges and encourages others to come along. Secondly, a leader serves those who have joined up to prompt and direct them toward fulfilling their mission and purpose in life. Even if this means a team member leaves, the culture you have created by your influence will be a magnet for others who want to have what you’ve got rub off on them.

You are a person of influence. So make it and keep it positive. Oh, yeah. And keep it R.E.A.L.

No comments:

Post a Comment